Life Events – Lesson’s Learned – How They Affect Our Lives
Right now, the state of the world is in an uproar for many reasons!
Racial Injustice
Black Lives Matter
Police Brutality
Violence – Vandalism – Innocent Deaths (Old & Young)
Covid-19 – Epidemic – Pandemic – Isolation
Child Abuse and Domestic Violence rates are sky rocking, and Suicide is also on the rise. Mental health struggles for all of the reasons above are making people do things that they might not normally do.
We are living in uncertain times, floating on uncharted waters!
Far too many people are being (too) politically correct. They are forgetting to listen effectively, and that creates a scenario where nobody can be heard. The voices and opinions of others are lost in a vast pool of righteousness.
Where is the mutual respect? At this moment it time, it seems like it is out the window. The fighting, bantering, social media wars against one another is brutal, so what does the media do - add more fuel to the fire! The news is blasting it in our faces everywhere we turn, there is no balance. There seems to be no resolution only war amongst one another. Everybody is talking but nobody is listening.
Do I sound frustrated – YES - we are all frustrated, but if we continue to shut one another out, nothing changes. Every time you say something, there is someone else at your heels tearing you down. We walk on eggshells in fear of the backlash of our thoughts and feelings.
Silently we think, do I say it this way or that way? Am I being politically correct, or does my opinion even matter? Yes, it does, we all matter!
Do I believe that “Black Lives Matter” Absolutely! Do I believe that “Children Matter” Of course I do! Do I believe that “All Lives Matter” No doubt about it!!!
I say it all the time “HELLO WORLD WE ALL MATTER”.
Now, does that take away from “Black Lives Matter” and what it stands for Absolutely NOT! I understand what those words mean and why the battle is on, but I may not fully understand the deeper meaning because I am a White Woman. YES, I am saying it out loud!
I have had many deep discussions about this topic and the importance of those words. I may not feel the “effects” fully, but that does not mean I am not affected by what is happening. I can still stand side by side with a person of color and support what we are all fighting for which is – equality – justice – mutual respect for one another.
People come in all shapes, sizes, colors and choice of religion, and we must learn how to move forward together. I believe it starts in the home, and with our future generations to come.
“Lead By Example” - Gandhi
I want to share a story about a time in my life where I personally felt the “wrath” of racial injustice. I do believe I understand…
The year was 1981
I grew up in a small town by the ocean, which was a predominantly white community in the 1920’s to the 1970’s, and as time moved forward our town was becoming more cultured. There were many people who were very accepting of this change, and of course there were many who were not.
As we moved forward tensions grew in our community, and it became ugly. The old “stigmas” that were embedded into our elders began to trickle down into our generation. There were racial slurs on both ends of the coin. People of color - White and Black, were feeling the heaviness. It grew darker with many lines drawn, but as kids we didn’t see color, just friendships.
It was my sophomore year in high school, and our school was quite large. There was well over a thousand students that attended. As many schools from that time frame, the kids were connected by groups. You had the jocks and cheerleaders, the frat boys, and of course the floaters (the rebels that didn’t quite know where to go). There were all different kinds of fraternity groups, and we were all segregated by who we hung out with.
Then it went a step further, many groups were split. I will say it bluntly because this is how it was. Blacks and Whites - not many dared to mingle or cross the line, because of the stigma that was placed upon us. We all tip toed around one another, with occasional fist fights breaking out when tensions became too high.
My class was the youngest in the school, and many of us saw things a bit differently. I personally was friends with everyone, and it was never about the color of one’s skin. I was not alone in my thoughts, and we slowly pushed to break that barrier. We were all testing the water so to speak. Seeking a different way from the past, as we tried to get beyond this segregation. We wanted change!
One day it finally came to a head. I was in the cafeteria sitting with my friends. As we were all chatting and socializing about our lives quite happily – then, this happened. A huge fight broke out in the cafeteria. Two seniors one was white and the other black. As they fought viciously against one another, the school went into an uproar. Tables were flying and it turned into a racial war.
Everyone was fighting. As the students rushed the hallways, people were getting trampled, kids and teachers busted out of classrooms only to be caught in the middle of a war they never started. It was like the school blew up!
I remember hiding under a table with many of my friends, trying to stay out of the madness. I was holding my friend’s hand. She was a girl of color. I distinctly remember looking down at our hands locked together “Black & White” comforting one another as we feared the outcome.
We shook as we watched fist for fist go by, blood splattered everywhere. The screaming and chaos were deafening; many of us cried in that very moment. We all held one another until it was over.
Suddenly, the police and riot unit showed up, bursting through the cafeteria doors to regain control of the school. It was awful. Students were hurt, teachers were hurt, and even a few police officers were hurt.
Everyone was fighting a battle that was placed upon them by past generations. It was terrifying to watch, and be a part of. I remember the hate in people’s eyes as they attacked one another. I remember the screams of anger and rage. I remember the look of fear, terror and sadness. There were many emotions that were felt on that day, and we were all effected by this awful experience. It was sad to see. This memory will be embedded in my mind forever.
When it was over, and my friends and I parted ways we all hugged.
The school was shut down for 5 days, and when we returned there were police now roaming the hallways. There was still a lot of tension. It was an Erie feeling. People were now traveling side by side not knowing what would happen next. Everyone was on edge.
As I went to my first class of the day, I saw my friend. I shot her a huge smile as I sat down next to her, asking her how she was and that I was hoping we could get together to hang out after school. She looked at me with very sad eyes and dropped her head. I said, “What is wrong?” and her reply was this, “I am not allowed to hang out with you because you are white.” My mouth dropped as those words cut me like a knife, and I didn’t know what to say. I looked at her for a long moment shaking my head and I said, “That is wrong.” She agreed with me as a tear dripped down her cheek, but she would not go against her parents. I understood that, because I also grew up in a home with “prejudices and pre-judgements”.
This moment has had a lasting effect on me. I was discriminated against because I was a “Person of Color”. I learned many valuable lessons from this experience. It changed me forever.
As time moved forward, tensions did settle down. The older students graduated, and we moved forward together. I remained friends with Rachel, but we never did get to hang out together outside of school.
Slowly people came together, with mutual respect, but there was still that underlying stigma from the past that haunted those hallways.
NOW… fast forward to 2020
It is time to stand up for change, but it must be done in a civil manner. I DO believe we can walk forward without the violence. That darkness and negativity will never give us the positive outcome that we are all fighting for. To effectively move forward we must…
Offer one another understanding and kindness.
We must remind ourselves that WE all matter.
We need to remember that “We All Have A Voice”
We must remind ourselves that change CAN only happen if we are willing to stand together – NOT APART.
NO more segregation. NO MORE VIOLENCE
Innocent lives are being lost in the shuffle, young and old. People are losing children. Children are losing parents and siblings.
The rash decisions of people fueled by hate and anger are robbing us of the very ones that we love. If we add more violence to the fire, we are in jeopardy of burning it all down with no resolution.
We must “pause” for a moment and think about what are the most effective answers, minus the violence.
I wanted to share my experience because life lessons are the most important ones we will ever learn in the “School of Life”.
This is my experience - Lesson Learned. We share our experiences to teach one another these valuable lessons. Food for thought!
Are you listening?
Embrace the Journey,
God Bless,
Lisa Zarcone
Author – Public Speaker – Child & Mental Health Advocate – Blogger
Inspirationalist
