Mentors Have A Very Important Role In The Lives Of Our Youth

Mentor:  A trusted counselor or guide

an experienced person who advises and helps somebody with less experience over a period of time

 A mentor can alter the life of another person in a positive way.  It could be in a way, that was never thought possible by the young person who is feeling lost, alone and confused about life.

Sometimes mentors are chosen, and other times they seem to just show up at the right time.  It is like out of a play, this person is on que, stepping up to the stage with a larger-than-life presence.

Either way, the mentor can truly make the difference in someone’s life.  It could even be a matter of Life vs Death!  I know that sound intense, but it is the raw, profound truth of the struggles that our youth face every single day.

Mentors save lives.  I 100 percent believe this because my mentor saved me.   As a young girl struggling with so many issues due to trauma, abuse, loss and abandonment; I felt like I was worthless to the world.   I fumbled along making one bad decision after the next, living life by the seat of my pants with a high impulse reaction to everything.

I was labeled “the wild child”, so out of control.  My peers saw me as, out of control, reckless and a rebel.  I was always fighting.    Nobody saw the real me.  The young girl in such horrendous internal pain.  Nope, they only saw that outer shell of an out-of-control girl fighting her way through every single day.   The word I would use to describe myself back then as a young teen would be “EXPLOSIVE”.

My energy screamed volumes of what my mouth never muttered.

Think about that.  How many out-of-control teens are living this same lifestyle right now?   How many have been down that same road as myself, living in an abuse environment; frozen in fight or flight mode?

I can answer that- countless, far too many, to put a number on it.  It is sad to think about how we are losing our youth at record numbers because they are not getting the proper help and support that they need.

I am lucky that I made it out alive after years of torturous abuse, and one of the main reasons is because I had a mentor.   This mentor came to me as a great surprise.   I was not seeking her out, or even thought about having or needing one.   I feel like she chose me, without even realizing it.

She came into my life at the age of 15:

I want to share my story with all of you!

I met a woman named Judy.  I was 15 at the time and I signed up for a youth employment program and she gave me my first job.  I was mopping floors at the high school pool and changing areas, and I also cleaned at our community center.   I loved to clean because it was the one thing in my life that I could actually control.  I would get so immersed in my duties, as I was in deep thought all of the time.  Judy always seemed to just show up as she came to chat with me while I was working. 

She saw something in me, something I didn’t even know I had.  She gave me purpose and direction.  I found it odd that she would pop in at random times, but they always seemed like the perfect time as she would get me to open up and engage in conversation.

She was my mentor right from the beginning and I was grateful to have her.  I do believe that mentors save lives, because she saved mine.  She taught me self-worth, my inner potential and then she supported me every step of the way. 

Then one day she came to me and offered me a job working at a summer camp for disadvantaged and disabled children.

I remember her saying to me, “you will be perfect for this job, you understand”.   How did she know I understood?   I never told her about my past, or what I was currently going through, but she saw ME!  This is the first person to ever see me, and I was unbelievably happy.

This came at a time in my life where I felt the whole world had given up on me, and I was not worth the effort.   I was invisible in my mind.   So, when Judy offered me this position, seeing my potential, and my caring heart, it surprised me.

This new role was a life changing experience for me.  I was now helping children in a way that I was never helped.  I was stepping up for them, and giving back.   It felt amazing, and I thrived in this environment.   I went on to work with youth in different programs under the protective watch of Judy.  

She continued to push me out of my comfort zone, and challenged me every step of the way.  To say she took me under her wing is an understatement.  This woman saved me!

Over the course of the next 3 years, I worked with Judy, and she was always there to offer advice, support and honesty.  She told me when I was not doing the things that I needed to do in life, and I listened.

At one point in our relationship, I did disclose some of the things that I went through in my young life.  I always kept everything silent, so I did not share everything; but I did give her a small window view into my troubled past.

I remember her saying to me, “Lisa, I always knew you had been through a lot of things in your life, and I just wanted to let you know that you deserved better”.  “I believed in you, since the moment that I met you, it was a feeling that came over me”.

That was a powerful conversation for both of us, and I continued to step forward doing the best that I could in all aspects of my life.   I was seeing my own transformation as the things in my life that I could control, like school, work, and social activities all changed for the better.

I found my “self-worth” with her love, help and support.

I stayed connected to Judy for a long time, until I moved away, but of course with this new age of social media, I was able to connect with her years later.

I thanked her for all that she did for me, and she graciously accepted my thoughts and wishes with complete openness.  She was humbled in knowing how she was a part of altering my life, and sending me in a new direction.

This is why mentors are so important.   We can shape the lives of our youth through commitment, honesty and hard work.  It all starts out with believing in someone who seems lost and alone.

We never truly know what someone may be going through in life, so why not step up and be that guiding light and help turn them around.   If you look into the eyes and faces of our children and young adults, you will see their eagerness to learn, and grow.   They seek guidance, structure and stability.   They seek acceptance, and a support system to cheer them on; they also need someone to hold them when they cry.

We are all living breathing creatures searching for our “pack”--

Our VILLAGE.    When a child or young adult is traumatized and abused, it can feel like they are “left out in the cold”- “being the outcast” in their own life.   I understand those feelings all to well, because I was that child, and my abandonment issues ran extremely deep.   The damage left scars that took many years to work through and overcome.

The good news is that my mentor “JUDY” changed my life for the better.

Now stepping forward, how are we going to help our youth?  Have you ever thought about becoming a mentor, and stepping up for the children?   What do you have to offer, that would enrich the lives of the children?  I am sure there many beautiful qualities inside of each and every one of you reading this right now; that can potentially save a life!

Food for thought.

Embrace the Journey,

God Bless,

Lisa Zarcone

Author – Public Speaker – Child & Mental Health Advocate – Blogger – Social Media Influencer

2023 Women of Impact – Business West Magazine

The Unspoken Truth A Memoir

The Book of Joann

Quotes:

**Awareness brings in the light…  Lisa Zarcone

1.   "One of the greatest values of mentors is the ability to see ahead what others cannot see and to help them navigate a course to their destination." – John C. Maxwell

2.   "A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you than you see in yourself and helps bring it out of you." – Bob Proctor

3.   "I have had mentors over the years, and they have been invaluable. They have helped me prepare for opportunities." – Condoleezza Rice

4.   We must find time to stop and thank those people who make a difference in our lives. – John F Kennedy

5.   “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou

JUDY