Does The Body Keep Score? Trauma and Abuse Take A Toll
Trauma: A deeply distressing or disturbing experience or physical injury
Abuse: to treat someone with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.
Trauma and abuse stimulate the body in a negative way, causing deep harm that cannot be seen by the naked eye.
How does the body cope with the intense stress placed upon it, during and after the trauma and abuse are long over? Our bodies are very sensitive creatures, lit up with nerve endings from top to bottom. The dysfunctional stimulation puts the brain on over load, which screams out to the body time to “abort the mission”.
Brain waves are shouting, “Get out now”, and it is time for fight or flight mode to jump into high gear. As all the bells and whistles are going off inside the mind and body, someone in trauma could present “well”.
What do I mean by that? Speaking from personal experience of abuse, I was in fight or flight mode for years, as I was abused for a very long period of time throughout my young life. I was abused on all levels, ranging from mental, emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Very sensory in my body was screaming for help, release, and freedom from this internal trap. Life became clouded as the days carried on with a bleak outlook.
The most interesting thing about it, was that on the outer shell, I presented very normal. How can that be, when so much trauma has occurred. For myself, I buried it and held it in so very tight, fighting every day not to let it show.
Did my body take a toll from all the years of silence. The answer to that is a very big YES. As I grew into a woman, and moved on with my life, there was still this secret baggage that remained. That dark and heavy package was like a lead weight trying to bring me down at every twist and turn in my life.
Slowly my body started to give way, and the past was seeping through. No matter how hard I tried to keep it down, it was a stirring pot of lava waiting to explode. One day after all the years of holding it in, I exploded, and what an explosion it was. I hit rock bottom.
As I laid there looking up at the sky above, I thought to myself, “I will never survive this darkness”, as I felt like it swallowed me up whole in one big gulp. My brain waves were on over drive, sparking and short-circuiting in a chaotic rhythm. My body shook uncontrollably, the flashes of the past where right in front of my face, as I heard warped voices with the images spinning faster and faster.
Powerful description, right?
**some people’s lives seem to flow in a narrative: mine had many stops and starts. That’s what trauma does. It interrupts the plot… It just happens, and then life goes on. No one prepares you for it.
-Jessica Stern, Denial: A Memoir of Terror
**I was living in two worlds at once, wincing through the darkness, trying to see the light of day. How do you overcome such things?
-Lisa Zarcone, The Unspoken Truth A Memoir
The mind, brain and body are in full collision mode, and there is no turning back. This is the effect of long-term trauma and abuse, and that is just the beginning.
Extensive research now shows us that the body does keep score, and not only are we impaired mentally and cognitively, but physically. The physical ailments start to present themselves as time goes on.
Think about that. Your body is taking it all in. So, where does it all go?
A traumatic experience causes the body to release stress hormones. This fight or flight response is normal and helps protect survival. But when it becomes toxic stress, areas of the brain begin to change. These changes result in physical and emotional symptoms that are associated with past trauma. Our brain functions are actually altered by the abuse, and our “window of stress tolerance” decreases. As our nervous system is in heightened awareness all the time, our thoughts can become clouded. They call these episodes, “Misfires or Short-circuits”. During this time period, the brain is becoming damaged because it is on overload. It is like a computer over-heated; it needs to be turned off. It must be allowed to rest, and recharge its battery.
Trauma and the brain
When we have not fully processed an overwhelming experience, our amygdala — the part of our brain that activates the fight, flight, or freeze response — may become overactive, explains Leah Aguirre, a licensed clinical social worker and EMDR therapist in San Diego, California.
This can increase the level of stress hormones in your body, like cortisol, leading to an underlying feeling of being “on edge” much of the time.
“Basically, our brain is telling us, don’t relax — you need to be prepared for anything. Even if we know logically that we are safe, our body is telling us otherwise,” she explains.
It can be all but impossible to talk yourself out of it, as the part of your brain that handles rational thought and self-regulation is, essentially, offline.
“[In the case of traumatic stress,] when our amygdala is activated, we have limited access to our frontal lobe — the part of our brain that is involved in executive functioning,” she says. “We are really only focused on our survival and staying safe, which can make it difficult to be present and interact with the world in a meaningful way.”
So how do we rest? Heal? Over come?
The first thing that needs to happen, is you need to allow yourself to break the silence. Say the words out loud. Here it, feel it, validate it. Many people do this in a therapeutic setting for guidance and support. I believe this is the way to start, because carrying these emotions for so long, has done the damage. The person who is struggling, will need that guidance to see them through.
When I had my explosion, I did go to therapy, and that is where my healing journey began. As I slowly allowed those dirty words to roll from my lips, I began to see things a bit clearer. It took many years, and three different therapeutic experiences to get here, but the clouds have been released and I do see the light.
The Healing journey is quite a difficult road to travel, but one that is necessary to overcome and eventually heal. Remember, healing comes in stages, and on many levels. The more that you heal yourself; the brain does naturally reboot to a point.
That is the key to “resting the brain” – releasing the trauma, allow the words to come, and finally feeling the validation that is so long overdue. Yes, it is a huge process, and one the you must stay committed to if you want to find success, and ultimately freedom. One of the big questions that I have been asked over the years, has been this:
Has your brain fully healed, and has there been permanent effects to your body?
I will answer this question only for myself, because it is different for everyone who has been down this torturous path. We all heal differently.
I have healed on many, many levels, but there are still permanent effects for all that I have been through.
Cognitively: I get easily overwhelmed with many words and numbers at the same time. It looks jumbled and backwards to me, sometimes taking on a whole new entity. I need to take things in pieces to fully grasp what I am looking at or reading. I find that I get overstimulated with a lot of energy swirling around me, and I have to “talk myself off the ledge so to speak”. I still cannot sleep in total darkness, and sitting in a dental chair sends my anxiety on an all-time high. I still have nightmares from time to time, but nowhere near what it used to be.
The good news is that even though these are dings of the past, I now validate them for what they are, and I have learned how to work with them instead of against them. This took me a long time to master, and I am still a work in progress.
Physically: My body has a lot of nerve sensory issues, directly related to the trauma. I struggle with physical pain due to my nervous system. Unfortunately, holding onto things for as long as I did, carried a heavy price tag to a prize I never wanted to receive. That is Abuse Reality.
The best advice I could give anyone is to “know your body”, physically as well as mentally. The more you know what makes you tick, or what triggers you, the better off you will be. You can teach yourself to know the signs, and offer self-care as often as possible. Take your space when needed to re-group, and do not be afraid to say no to doing something that will make you feel negative or frightened.
It took me a very long time, to understand that the best way to heal is to understand yourself, and allow yourself time to rest. I call them “brain breaks”. They are highly imperative to calming the mind and helping you to reconnect with your body. To have a well-oiled machine, you need to know how it works from soup to nuts! That may sound old and cliché by effective and realistic.
There are many types of therapy that are now offered to help overcome past trauma. The more that Mental Health Awareness has come to the forefront, we are now being offered more options.
My suggestion: if you are going to work on your mental health, and past trauma history, do your research, and see what speaks to you. Write things down. I am a firm believer in journaling, as it helps us put our thoughts onto paper. I would suggest even reading it back to yourself, “out loud”, so that your mind can connect with your deep feelings. When you do that, not only are you releasing that energy, you are validating all that you have been through, essentially – Breaking the Silence.
I encourage everyone to take care of their bodies, as we all have a long road ahead to travel. Be proactive in your journey to overcome and heal.
It is time to do the work, because the body does keep score.
Embrace the Journey,
Lisa Zarcone
Author – Child & Mental Health Advocate – Public Speaker – Blogger
Social Media Influencer
Massachusetts National Ambassador for Naasca (National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse)
2023 Women of Impact – Business West Magazine (Western MA)
I want to share three book references that I found very informative and helpful:
The Body Keeps The Score (Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma) – Bessel Van Der Kolk
The Bullied Brain – Heal Your Scars and restore Your Health -Jennifer Fraiser, PhD Foreword by Dr. Michael Merzenich
Thriving After Trauma: Stories of Living and Healing – Shari Botwin, LCSW
How to heal trauma in the body
“Most talk therapy employs what we call ‘top-down’ processing. It’s focused on our thoughts and engages the prefrontal cortex in the brain to resolve trauma,” says Uchendu.
While that’s great, one challenge is that it can be difficult to engage your logical mind when the body is dysregulated. That’s where body-centered modalities come in, says Uchendu.
“When bottom-up processing is used, it allows the trauma symptoms in the body to be processed and the nervous system to be regulated. This allows for the prefrontal cortex to come online [gradually, over months in therapy] and be able to fully engage with thoughts, logic, and reason,” she says.
1. Cognitive processing therapy
Cognitive processing therapy (CPT) is a common therapy option for healing trauma.
“CPT is similar to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) in that it assists in helping individuals to identify and challenge unhelpful or irrational thoughts or narratives related to a traumatic event. It also teaches skills to counter or decrease the emotional dysregulation that is tied to past trauma,” explains Aguirre.
The American Psychiatric Association (APA) says that CPT is “strongly recommended” for treating PTSD.
2. Prolonged exposure therapy
Prolonged exposure (PE) therapy teaches people to approach trauma-related memories and feelings gradually. Over time, the person can learn that these memories are not dangerous and that they don’t need to avoid them.
The APA also strongly recommends PE for treating PTSD.
3. EMDR
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) works to reduce and clear the emotional charge associated with a specific traumatic memory, says Aguirre.
“It can help individuals connect to more positive and adaptive beliefs that are related to the event. I have found this modality incredibly beneficial and provide so much relief in the clients that I see in my practice,” she says.
You may find it helpful to find an EMDR therapist through the EMDR International Association.
4. Somatic Experiencing (SE™)
Created by renowned trauma researcher and author Peter A. Levine, Somatic Experiencing (SE™) is thought to help you:
recognize your trauma symptoms
draw on resources to overcome them
safely revisit memories for processing
You may find it empowering to work with a somatic experiencing practitioner through Somatic Experiencing International, says Uchendu.
