HOLIDAY STRESSORS --- IT HAS ARRIVED
DEFINITION -
Ignoring feelings of sadness, loneliness or depression in an effort to maintain “Holiday Cheer”.
Facing the loss of a loved one (passed or removed), with whom you have shared the holidays. Having unrealistic expectations of family and friends. Having an expectation that you “should” feel good!
YES, it is that time again. As the emotional fall season may have sparked the “seasonal blues”, now its holiday time.
Many people do struggle with the changing of the seasons. When fall is upon us and the leaves are bright and exhilarating, we celebrate the contagious energy of that cool breeze and hot apple pie, but as the leaves begin to fall and the landscape becomes barren and dark, so does our mood.
This transition can be very hard for people, especially those who suffer from anxiety, ptsd and depression. As the sun goes down earlier in the day, bringing in the darkness with its cold winds of change, you may want to hibernate so you do not have to feel the wrath of sadness, loneliness or depression.
“Yes, hide, seek shelter from the internal storm of life”…
Stumbling along this path of autumn, there is a peak of brightness as we give thanks in the month of giving “November”, but then we are thrusted directly into the holiday season with so many emotions, feelings and unrealistic expectations.
How can we survive the madness?
The first thing to remember is that we are not always going to feel joyous, and to put that expectation onto yourself is truly unrealistic. The holiday season sparks up those old wounds of the past. Instead of sugar plum fairies dancing in your head, its more like little green monsters of deceit picking away at your sanity.
Now let’s add in work, family stress, paying bills as we are trying to keep up with the holiday spending as the energy that surrounds you is on an all time high. YOU are not the only one feeling this “anxiety”. Look around you it is everywhere you go! Are you seeing holiday joy? Not always!
As you move forward try to think about the many people who are struggling as you see the stress and glazed over look on their faces, trudging their way through each day, trying to survive.
The best thing that you can do for others is offer patience and kindness, even when it feels hard.
As for yourself --- Self Care
Self-care is so important, especially during this time of year.
Start off by allowing yourself to feel. If you are triggered by a memory, instead of hiding or pushing it away, be bold and brave and look at it. Pick it apart and see why it is affecting you. Then take the bigger step and make peace with it.
Keep pushing forward and in the moments when you experience peace and joy, fully embrace it; just be in the moment. Savor every last bit of those emotions, and let them carry you through the next storm.
Take some time for yourself!!! Think about what you love to do that is relaxing, and purposely make time to do it. It could be as simple as a cup of coffee quietly sitting by a window watching the birds, or listening to your favorite music.
Whatever it is that makes you feel good – Do it!!
Here are a few tips that may help:
JOURNAL WRITING - It does not have to be a novel or even correctly spelled. It just has to be your thoughts and feelings in the moment. When you write things down, and read it back to yourself, it gives you a sense of validation and release.
MEDITATION – make it simple just sit in a chair or lay down and just be. Work on quieting the mind even if it is for 5-10 mins. You would be surprised how it helps ground you.
PRAYER -- It does not matter what religion you are; prayer helps many people focus. I like to burn a candle as I sit quietly with my thoughts, intentions, hope and dreams. We all pray differently which is actually a beautiful thing.
Think about people all over the world praying in their own way. As the energy rises up into the sky, it is connecting all of us in a powerful harmony of life’s intentions. Powerful Thought, Right??
CHANGE YOUR SCENERY -- If you are feeling heavy and dark, or just so riddled with anxiety you cannot think straight, get out of dodge! Take a walk, let the cool air hit your face and breathe it in. Embrace the cleansing aroma of nature!
Connect to your surrounding change, and work on switching gears with each step you take.
CHANGE YOUR NEGATIVE TO A POSITIVE -- When those negative thoughts creep in, practice switching it up to a positive one. You can counteract your own thoughts and feelings as you are working through them. I say go “Team Positive”.
This is a practiced skill, and one that works quite effectively.
RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS -- This is my favorite!
Think about donating your time to those in need. What are you passionate about? What cause touches your soul? Help someone who is struggling, and it may put your own struggles into perspective.
After all this is the season of giving, so why not give a bit of yourself. It is a win win situation. You will make someone else’s day, and it will give you internal joy knowing you did something good for someone else.
These are a few great suggestions that may help you get over the hump of the “Holiday Blues”.
Life is hard that is for sure, and we all go through things, but we must remember that the most important gifts that we can give to others is compassion, honesty and attention.
When someone is talking to you, engage in it. Time to put that phone down and look them in the eye. You would be amazed how someone will feel comfort from your attention.
As for you – the best thing you can do for you is “love yourself”. Allow yourself to feel on all levels, and make peace with each feeling along the way. Tell yourself it is “OK” and “you are worth it”.
Self-care - Balance – Self-love/worth!
If you feel that the tears may flow, let them come and cleanse your soul. Smile brightly through the tears and turn them into joy. You are alive, taking your personal life journey. That is a gift in itself.
We have the ability to change everything, one step at a time.
Happy Holiday’s everyone!
Embrace the Journey
God Bless
Lisa Zarcone
Author/Child & Mental Health Advocate/Public Speaker/Blogger/Inspirationalist
The Unspoken Truth A Memoir - A child’s story – An adult’s journey towards healing
