Broken Silence - Trauma and Abuse Silences A Child But If You Look Closely You Can See The Signs
The Unspoken Truth
Say those words out loud and really think about what they mean.
What is not spoken, must not be reality?
How many children and young adults do you think are walking around this country, living in that silence? Far more than you can ever imagine. I was that child and the silence almost consumed my life. I had to fight long and hard to break free from my past pains, and shed those masks of shame. My healing journey did not come easy for me, and it took several attempts to be successful on my journey towards peace.
I can say confidently that I am whole, but not without flaws, dents and bruises. My past has left permanents marks on my soul that can never be erased, but the difference now is, that it does not control me. I have taken back the control. I am the lead in this dance of life. I have learned who I truly am and why I struggle in certain areas of my life. It all connects back to my childhood. The past - The damage - The misfire of my brain clouded by abuse, neglect, and trauma.
The biggest reason that I wrote my memoir was to give people an intimate view of the damaged mind of a child trying to survive the madness and dysfunction. I wanted everyone to understand that the damage runs far deeper than anyone could imagine, unless you have personally been there in the trenches of misery.
The Unspoken Truth A Memoir is written through the eyes of a child, giving the child’s perspective, thoughts and feelings during those awful times of abuse. I had to dig really deep inside my mind and pull from those heart-wrenching memories to bring authenticity to my journey. The interesting thing about how I wrote this book was I shared my flaws. I shared this story in a choppy fashion (which has been frowned upon by critics) because as you are reading those words you feel the chaos, the confused, clouded mind and the ultimate never-ending pain.
I had a specific vision about how I wanted my book written and what I wanted people to get out of it. I am proud to say that I accomplished this. I did it my way, and I stand by my work 110 percent.
I purposely left a few errors in my book to showcase how to this day I still continue to struggle putting it all together. As a writer, I have to triple check everything that I do, because of what the past damage has done to me.
When I am thinking of something and move forward to write it out, my mind is processing it one way, and what lands on the paper could be quite a different outcome. Inside my mind I see many things completely altered. I will always go back and re-read everything I work on, until I know I have done my job completely. It has been very hard for me to understand my own disability. This is what I have learned over the years. It is called “Developmental Disabilities” or “Developmental Trauma”.
This is when the child’s mind does not develop normally because of the trauma. They call it a “misfire” because the brain goes into shut down mode to protect itself from the overload. Because of this natural mechanize inside the mind, many things are lost and missed. I call it The Black Hole and Blank Spaces.
Now as an adult I have learned to work with this disability because I have understanding of what it is and how it was caused, but think about a child or young adult who does not understand this knowledge. They are walking around in a clouded bubble of muck! YES, I call it muck, because inside that bubble it is thick as the views are tainted, blurry and heavy.
We need to help our youth when they are young, so maybe they can have the opportunity to shed some of that burden. They may possibly be able to even overcome it all, and find the safety, understanding and success that they deserve.
How do we get there? We pay attention! We ask the questions! We step up! We look inside the eyes of a child to see the reality!
This all takes time, and work but every child deserves that second look, or maybe a third or forth.
I remember wandering those hallways in school, or visiting a friends house, and I would stare into the eyes of all these adults waiting to be seen. The sad reality was that day never came for me, but it could come for a child right now in this moment in time. Take that look, and be the one who helps them break the silence; allowing them to be free once and for all.
We need to continue talking about our “Unspoken Truths” and bring other people into the light.
Food for thought!
Embrace the Journey,
God Bless,
Lisa Zarcone
MA National Ambassador for NAASCA (National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse)
2021 Heroine Award Recipient - MA Commission on the Status of Women
Author - Child & Mental Health Advocate - Public Speaker - Blogger - Social Media Influencer
Hard work and determination opens doors, but true passion opens the mind…
